A while back I dated this guy who was your typical fun loving always in the spotlight kind of guy. We had worked together for awhile, and I know they say to never dip your pen in the company ink, but at the time that didn’t matter. I had done some mad chasing, hoping he would cave and finally want to date me. His defense would continue to go up each time and he would keep pushing me back.

I was like “What’s your problem?” I knew he was attracted to me but he was skeptical and all about having fun. Like most women I liked the challenge and thought I could change his way of thinking somehow and eventually he would want to date me. He always said to me that we needed to be friends first. Back then I didn’t get this and often responded “I have enough friends thank you!”

Eventually we had the opportunity to spend more time together as friends which lead to a solid relationship full of love, fun and passion. So today I can’t stress enough how important it is to be someone’s friend first. If the relationship has started out as casual sex then slow things down and try to focus on getting to know the other person especially if you see him/her as long term.

Getting to spend time with someone and learn a little more about them each day is the best part of dating. It feels so great to be able to reflect back and see how this relationship that started as friends who shared everything from goals in life, future travel, childhood stories, lead to a solid romantic partnership. So next time you hear “Let’s just be friends first” don’t run for the hills ladies. Instead, embrace the opportunity and be grateful that you can call this person a friend and possibly one day the love of your life.