As a Matchmaker and Dating Coach, the most common area where I provide coaching for singles is in the area of communication. A common question that gets asked is “What do I say to someone who catches my eye?” Rather then jumping to the communication piece, I think it’s important to master your non-verbal communication first.
Gentlemen, always remember that women often make quick decisions based on your body language and facial expressions. We all know to stand up straight, make eye contact and smile and hopefully she will notice you. But how often are we really practicing this? I think it goes much deeper then this. This is why I wanted to share an effective method to master these 6 Tips for Body Language during a first encounter AND while on a date.
A great acronym for body language is SOFTEN. It’s easy to remember and will work to your advantage.
1. Smile-a genuine smile is the number one nonverbal cue for signaling your openess. I’m not saying that you continually smile at her the entire time, but you do want to show her your friendly and approachable. A cute grin can work like a charm as well. Don’t be afraid to be animated as well in your facial expressions. This can add humor and keep her smiling.
2. Open Posture-Keep your arms uncrossed and face her directly to show your confidence. Crossed arms can be associated with you feeling uncomfortable, bored or guarded. Open posture also reminds you to sit up straight, engage your core and show off your wardrobe.
3. Forward Lean-Leaning forward when you are listening or speaking shows someone you are paying attention. You can hear her better, smell her scent and connect a lot quicker.
4. Touch-Match her level of closeness. This could be a handshake or a gentle hug. Wait for her move first then follow her lead.
5. Eye Contact-Making eye contact shows you’re confident, builds intimacy and helps her feel at ease. You show that you are genuinely focused on her and no other distractions that walk by.
6. Nod-The occasional nod and “hmm” goes a long way and shows you’re really listening and interested in what she has to say. This also keeps her talking and wanting to share more with you.