LAT-Living apart together is not for everyone, but it works well for people in relationships who have been married before and like living independently.
We spoke with a few couples in LAT living arrangements who typically preferred avoiding the more “structured” commitments of cohabiting relationships such as children, joint finances and division of housework . Instead, they preferred a lifestyle where they felt they could receive the joy and emotional support of being a couple without many of the stressors.
Why they choose this living arrangement:
1. If they have a fight they can retire to separate houses to cool off and can take time to think.
2. It’s improved their relationship and made them have to be enough of a person on their own. Having their own hobbies and interests that they can also do independently.
3. It’s improved communication skills and emotional support for one another, since you can’t physically be there.
4. It’s consistent and you get excited to plan date nights during the week and weekends. You can alternate weekends to stay at eachother’s place which can feel like a getaway.
5. It allows space and opportunity needed to maximize each person‘s individual time, growth, and development.
6. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and you appreciate each other more.
7. It’s keeps the relationship interesting and gives you something to look forward to.
People in LAT relationships also said they “Appreciated the comforts of living on their own and were satisfied with seeing their partner a few times a week.”
As a Matchmaker, I’m seeing more and more different types of relationships and living situations arise. At the end of the day, the most important factor was falling in love with someone they can trust and appreciate. It’s more about growing together within the relationship, no matter if you live together, live miles away or a few blocks away.
As times change, we need to not automatically assume that what worked for our parents or grandparents or their friends is going to work for you. So be open to the possibility of doing what suits you best and live your best relationship. Love knows no distance.